The Hoarder’s House

Rainy Day is my alter ego. She is the little angel that sits on one shoulder and whispers in my ear to forego that 6″ piece of triple chocolate fudge with the triple scoops of ice cream on it; she is also the little devil who sits on my other shoulder convincing me that I can eat just one bite of each and be satisfied, and then laughs with such great abandon when in fact, I eat the whole thing and she falls off my shoulder. Mostly, Rainy Day helps me see the humor in living and, mostly, she encourages me down the right path. Not necessarily the straight and narrow one (how fun is that?) but the path that offers the most adventure and fun.

Rainy Day has never been one to waste a great deal of time cleaning house. There are always too many good books to read, or even to write, to spend time dusting (she lives in a windy, dusty, area, so why bother?) or mopping floors. She took her house keeping lessons from Joan Rivers who taught her, years ago, that there was no reason to mop the floor, make the beds, do the dishes when you just have to turn around in six months and do them all over again!

No, Rainy Day is not the best housekeeper, but even Rainy Day has limits, and she’s reached it. She decided to get new flooring for her house—hardwood, that wouldn’t need vacuuming, just a quick once over with a dust mop. To that end, she contacted her favorite Cute Contractor and they met at the Floor Store where she picked out, and bought, the last 1800 feet of Natural Hickory engineered flooring.

She packed just about everything packable into boxes. Boxes that are stacked in the kitchen (not getting new floor), she stacked boxes in the sewing room for easy removal. Boxes, boxes, everywhere, and nary a one…oh, sorry, wrong metaphor. Rainy Day is good at mixing metaphors.

Then, Rainy Day went on a trip to visit good friends in Florida and while she was gone her Cute Contractor and his Cute worker bees, made three stacks in her house of the flooring. It was still there when Rainy Day came home, and is still there, neatly stacked, as I write this.

But, Rainy Day and Cute Contractor assure me, the process for putting down the new floor will begin this coming Monday. While I am not looking forward to the dust of removing old tile and carpet, Rainy Day is jumping up and down in anticipation of having, finally, a good floor throughout the house.

Rainy Day is also looking forward to having that Cute Contractor in her house again. Have I mentioned that Rainy Day is a raunchy old broad? Oh, and that she knows to keep her hands off Cute Contractors who are happily married.


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